Funny SMS Messages,jokes

Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun.

Taxi driver: Mam, u r the 3rd pregnant lady whom I'm dropping to Airport today.
Lady: But I'm not pregnant.
Driver: But we havn't reached airport yet.

**Wife:Can u explain to me how this lipstick got on ur shirt collar?
Hubby:No, I really can't,I definitely remember that I took my shirt off.

**Next generation Child wil sing in school:
Twinkle twinkle litle star,
I just went 2 royal bar,
Whisky rates r up so high,
So drink a beer wth chiken fry. . ..

**WHY SACHIN HAVE TWO CHILDREN,BUT SOURAV HAVE ONE?.
BCOZ SACHIN HAVE SECRET ENERGY OF "BOOST".

**There is only 1 perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only 1 perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it.


**Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"
"Please wait someone else is using it."

**I have started loving 'U'...
I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!

** Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

**Father to son after exam: "let me see ur report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

**What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

**Y do men chase women they hav no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

**Dream makes all things possible, Hope makes al things work, love makes all things beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!

**Husband: Today is sunday & I hav 2 enjoy it. So, i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: why 3 tickets?
Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

**A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly?
The father says to him, don't bother my son u should see the one who is reading this!!

**A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother".
santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".

**sorry 2 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker!